


Only ever you

by whenineternal



Series: Everybody's got their poison (Mine is Sugar) [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Bondage, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sex Toys, Subspace, Sugar Daddy, Vibrators, and drop, just a smidge, so much love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:09:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenineternal/pseuds/whenineternal
Summary: “Soooo,” Taeyong starts, always the braver of them. “I googled.” He pulls his phone out for a brief moment before pocketing it once again and Doyoung snorts. “It’s a bdsm thing, isn’t it?”or,Taeyong sees something he shouldn't have.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Series: Everybody's got their poison (Mine is Sugar) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/713457
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	Only ever you

**Author's Note:**

> an old, partially abandoned wip sees the light of day? that's new.
> 
> anyway, i wanted to post a fic since it's dojae month and it's the 7th so right between their birthdays because i'm sappy like that. Enjoy!

There is no better sight — Doyoung thinks to himself while leaning against the iron-wrought frame of his bed — than Jaehyun cuffed and gagged and looking at him with those wet, pleading eyes. His little lover, his baby boy; always asking, pleading, begging, but still he makes no sound. Doesn’t speak unless spoken to, doesn’t move unless told to move. While in the beginning Doyoung may have had doubts about introducing Jaehyun to this life, his boy has taken to it with more enthusiasm than he ever would have anticipated.

“Do you want more?” he asks, fingers tightening around the black iron. Jaehyun looks at him for a beat longer, holding his breath, and then nods his head rapidly, his face flushing with desperation. Raking his eyes over the length of his boy’s naked body, Doyoung presses the plus sign on his remote control and watches with bated breath as Jaehyun digs his toes into the mattress and bows his back when the phallic toy inside him vibrates even harder. 

He had given Jaehyun the freedom to move as he wished in the restraints of the padded handcuffs holding him to the headboard and now — seventeen minutes in — he’s glad he did. Because Jaehyun squirming with pleasure is a sight enough to make him harden in his slacks.

Not that it is of any consequence; this is about Jaehyun’s pleasure and nothing else. Doyoung isn’t even planning on getting himself off at all, but rather wants to feel the effect of his lover on his body, how the mere sight of him gets under his skin and spreads heat in his veins. From the arch of Jaehyun’s feet, riddled with tension. To the slim length of his legs, pale and toned with muscle. To his hard chest jerking with irregular breaths and those pebbled nipples beckoning Doyoung’s touch. So sensitive. 

Mostly it’s Jaehyun’s face; the delectable softness that isn’t lessened in the slightest by how mature he looks, playing a game of tag over jaw cheekbone nose mouth. Gentle one second and hard the next. But not the eyes, the eyes are always pure as the morning sun.

Doyoung thinks he could drown in those eyes.

Jaehyun’s breath rattles in his chest and Doyoung turns the vibration down, “do I need to turn it off?” he asks and does so at once when Jaehyun nods his head and barely manages to hold back a sob. In seventeen minutes this is only the second time he has had to turn the vibrator off and he can’t help but admire his boy’s stamina. Maybe he doesn’t mind the amount of time and dedication Jaehyun puts in his workouts as much as he says he does seeing as his endurance is finally a match for Doyoung’s patience.

He told Jaehyun their first time together that he is a slave to his pleasure and never once has he gone back on his promise, but it has on more than one occasion left him feeling unsatisfied; physically fulfilled but mentally needing more, more obedience, more _Jaehyun_. Though he doesn’t think that’s a craving ever possible to fulfill; he can never have enough of his boy, be it his laughter or his kisses or the way he gives himself to Doyoung with no inhibitions. 

He turns the vibrator back on once Jaehyun is lying limp against the big pillow at his back and breathing evenly again, and he lets it slide when the sudden stimuli pulls a whine from Jaehyun’s gagged mouth. He likes hearing it and knowing that he has once again pushed Jaehyun past the boundaries of his self-control.

His boy learned too quickly; took to his role like a fish to water and Doyoung finds far too often that he has nothing to teach him, and so he must come up with something new. By now they learn more together than anything and Doyoung finds himself learning from Jaehyun just as much. His own role, for one, has evolved from what it used to be before he met Jaehyun and has become something he never would have imagined. It’s one thing when they are in bed together — in a scene together — and Jaehyun calls him _daddy_ , a moniker he didn’t want to begin with. It’s another thing entirely when they’re sitting on opposite ends of the dining table, laboring over their respective workloads, and his boy asks in a sweet voice if he won’t _pass the tea please daddy_. It’s not so much a role as a lifestyle these days, and while he sees no point in saying so to Jaehyun, it took some getting used to. 

He makes a note to himself to ask Jaehyun whether or not his incessant exercise sprouted from a desire to _please_ him. 

“You’re doing so well baby,” he says and turns the vibration up and then down and then up again with exactly ten seconds between each button press. He says it because Jaehyun likes the praise, and because he likes to see the effect it has on his boy; how it makes his skin flush and his cock twitch.

“So good for daddy,” he says, lowering his voice and leaning over the footboard of his bed. Jaehyun watches him with rounded eyes, silently mouthing his words back at him around the ball in his mouth and Doyoung smiles reassuringly. His baby boy is always so good for him.

As he is about to turn the vibration up even more and bring Jaehyun to the brink for the third time, the doorbell chimes downstairs, halting his finger on the remote control. Cursing silently, he turns the vibration down instead until it’s barely buzzing and moves around the bed to sit at Jaehyun’s side.

“Baby can you hear me?” he asks, continuing only when Jaehyun nods at him with clear eyes. “I’m going to see who is at the door and I might be gone for some time. I want you to try your best not to, but if you have to come then you’re allowed to. Daddy won’t be mad.”

Jaehyun nods and smiles beautifully at him with the barest hum of agreement and Doyoung doesn’t stop to ask for his consent. They’ve done this enough times before for it to be superfluous at best. Jaehyun likes the wait; the suspense and frustration.

Pocketing the small remote, Doyoung buttons up his shirt and heads for the stairs, descending quickly. He’s not expecting anyone, but with the friends he has whoever is at the door could range from a lost pizza delivery person to a two-man drinking party in which case he is most likely to have a living room crowded with one very loud Japanese. 

In hindsight he should have known it would be Taeyong.

“Hey,” his friend greets him when he opens the door, sounding about as upbeat as a Lana Del Rey song. Doyoung doesn’t say anything as he lets Taeyong inside the hall, but he lets his hand stroke over his thin shoulder in a comforting gesture. It’s been over three weeks already since Taeyong got dumped and the sadness is slowly turning to melancholy as the reality of it is starting to sink in. Doyoung has seen it before and he doesn’t doubt he’ll see it again; his best friend has a unique gift of attracting complicated men for him to dote on like wounded animals. They all end up leaving him in the end.

“Alcohol or food?” he asks when Taeyong has hung his jacket in the closet and placed his shoes neatly next to the mat.

“I’m thirsty,” is all he says and Doyoung snorts a low laugh and takes a detour to his liquor cabinet in the living room before joining Taeyong in the kitchen. He pours a tumbler of gin and a shot of the chocolate liqueur he keeps a bottle of specifically for Taeyong and sits close enough beside him on top of the kitchen island that their shoulders rub against each other. Taeyong drinks the gin first — predictably grimacing at the taste — before washing it away with the chocolate liqueur. Doyoung feels moderately nauseous just by watching him; he has never understood why Taeyong likes it so much.

“Didn’t feel like being alone,” Taeyong says, playing with the rings on his fingers. Doyoung hears it for what it actually means; _I didn’t trust myself not to do something stupid_. He can count on one hand the amount of times Taeyong has gotten drunk on his own and called his ex only because Taeyong didn’t have enough exes to warrant more than one. He’s reached five now so soon he’ll need two.

“It’s okay, you know you’re welcome any time,” he says quietly and tops off Taeyong’s shot glass with more chocolatey alcohol. He feels a little bad when he slips his hand in his pocket after and plays with the buttons on the remote control, but still chooses to close his eyes for a moment and picture Jaehyun writhing in his bed.

“Are you not going to drink?” Taeyong asks as he scoots off the counter.

“Don’t feel like it,” Doyoung says and watches the older man help himself to whatever he can find in his fridge. He isn’t surprised when he comes back with a variety of snacks as well as the bottle of tonic he must have originally been looking for. 

There are no measurements to it when Taeyong pours himself a gin and tonic, but Doyoung notes with a smidgen of concern that it’s leaning heavily towards gin over tonic. He supposes he should be glad Taeyong doesn’t have so many sorrows, given his penchant to drink them away.

“I almost called him,” Taeyong says into his cocktail, watching the liquid swirl around the tumbler as he moves it in circles. “Then I remembered what you did to me the last time and I’d rather avoid the bruises.” He sighs dramatically and Doyoung knocks his knee with his own with an offended huff. 

“I didn’t hit you that hard, you’re just weak.”

Taeyong snorts and — moving so quickly Doyoung has no time to react — raises a hand to pinch Doyoung’s bicep with his sharp fingers. It hurts more than Doyoung would ever admit.

“Who are you to call anyone weak,” he laughs, but goes back to pinch Doyoung’s bicep again, a little gentler, with a strange look on his face. “Actually, that does _not_ feel weak.” 

Doyoung smiles to himself and slips his hand in his pocket just to feel the remote control against his palm. While he never joins Jaehyun at the gym, he did drag his old weights out of storage after realising that — what with Jaehyun being physically bigger than him, if only by a little — he would need strength in places other than his legs if he were to ever realise his dream of fucking his boy against a wall. Specific, he knows, but it keeps him motivated. 

“Been lifting weights,” he says with a shrug and Taeyong hums in an entirely suspicious way but doesn’t prod. 

“Anyway, a hug please,” Taeyong burrows into his side with enough force to almost knock him off the counter, but in a second he slumps limply and hums like a content cat when Doyoung wraps an arm around his back. Their type of affection has always been a little violent, and they argue more than they agree, but Doyoung won’t imagine his life without Taeyong in it. Which begs the question; why hasn’t he told Taeyong about Jaehyun?

If it was just sex, he could understand his hesitance — his particular tastes is something he has never shared with anyone not directly involved with his sex life. But from the beginning this thing he has with Jaehyun was never purely about sex; it’s a relationship, they’ve said _I love you_ for crying out loud, on multiple occasions and most of them outside the bedroom. But after six months none of his friends have any idea, heavily aided by the fact they’re all too busy to see each other more than once a week and even more so by the fact that Jaehyun has never shown any interest in meeting any of them. In his words, he’s happy with having Doyoung all to himself.

But he knows he needs to say something soon; judging by the last month or so it seems Jaehyun has decided to permanently move in. He smiles at the thought and searches out the plus sign on the remote control in his pocket and pushes it three times in quick succession. The image in his head of Jaehyun clearing out a shelf for himself in the bathroom — something he’d done without asking permission — morphs into an image of the Jaehyun he left upstairs, cuffed and gagged and squirming with pleasure. He only realises he’s been kneading Taeyong’s side when his friend sits upright and looks at him weirdly.

“What are you doing?” he asks, squirming away from him with a wrinkle of his nose.

“Sorry, got lost in thought,” he says and runs both hands over his face and into his hair. Realising he doesn’t know how long he’s been lost to his thoughts, he hurries to stick his hand in his pocket and turns the vibrator down to its lowest setting. When he looks back up Taeyong is staring at him with a solemn face.

“Doyoung,” he says, as serious as if Doyoung was on trial for murder. “You’re not having sexy thoughts about _me_ , are you?”

He didn’t mean to, but he laughs right in Taeyong’s face. 

“Please, I’d fuck you only at gunpoint and maybe not even then,” he says, and Taeyong pokes him hard in the stomach but laughs as well, remarkably relieved. 

“Anyway, I need to pee,” Taeyong says and scoots off the counter, shaking his legs like a wet cat. 

“Sorry, I don’t have a litter box,” Doyoung pokes him in the back with his toes and Taeyong affords him a fake laugh before ambling out the kitchen door. 

Doyoung takes the remote from his pocket and holds it between his fingers and looks at the clock on the oven display. Almost half an hour since Taeyong arrived; Jaehyun can handle a little longer. The thought has barely passed his mind when a shriek sounds from upstairs followed by trampling feet in the staircase and Doyoung is out of the kitchen before he can even think to move. _Fuck_.

He meets Taeyong at the bottom of the stairs, looking about as frantic as he feels.

“Why did you go upstairs?!” he yells at the same time as Taeyong wails a choked version of “why is there a guy tied to your bed?!”

“You know I prefer the upstairs bathroom Doyoung did you just leave him there?” Taeyong continues wailing, a sound Doyoung has never heard from him before. But he can’t worry about Taeyong’s traumatised questioning right now, he has something far more precious he needs to take care of. 

“I don’t have time for this,” he says and forcibly moves Taeyong out of the way. “Stay there,” he orders and then takes the stairs three steps at a time. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but what he sees when he reaches the top breaks his heart into a million pieces. 

Jaehyun — still dreadfully handcuffed to the bed and sobbing through the ball gag in his mouth — is squirming not in delight, but in a desperate need to get away from everything that only seconds ago was so pleasurable.

“Baby baby I’m so sorry,” Doyoung gasps as he slides to a stop next to the bed and falls onto it. The first thing he does is pull the thick dildo from Jaehyun’s ass and throw it somewhere near the foot of the bed, repeating apologies into Jaehyun’s ear while stroking his hair. 

“Baby I’m so sorry I didn’t bring him here I swear I didn’t think he would go upstairs I’m so sorry,” he presses tiny kisses into Jaehyun’s face as he works to loosen him from his restraints, but Jaehyun barely hears him and doesn’t stop squirming and Doyoung’s heart breaks even more when Jaehyun’s wordless sobs turn to muffled exclamations of _ostrich_ , their safe word.

“Baby please hold still so I can get you loose,” Doyoung sobs, feeling his heart all but beating out of his chest, and he takes a deep breath to try and calm himself to no avail. This is his worst nightmare come to life. He knows from experience that voyeurism of any kind is a big no for Jaehyun ever since the time he safe-worded out of Doyoung whispering in his ear about other people seeing him like this.

He finally manages to uncuff Jaehyun and breathes a sigh of relief when his boy falls into his chest. At least he doesn’t think Doyoung did it on purpose, presuming he’s lucid enough to process anything he’s been saying. Taeyong walking in on him like that must have violently pulled Jaehyun out of his subspace, causing him to drop more devastatingly than Doyoung has ever seen. 

Doyoung pulls the ball gag from Jaehyun’s mouth and with the last trace of their playtime gone, he holds his lover to his chest and hums a soothing melody in his ear. Pulling at the duvet, he wraps it as best he can around Jaehyun to cover his nakedness and buries a hand in his hair just how Jaehyun likes it, stroking and scratching and petting with gentle, never-resting hands.

Jaehyun quiets after a while, but Doyoung can still feel him trembling in his arms and his shirt is only growing more damp with the tears falling from those eyes he loves so much, so he continues to hold him close.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he whispers again once he thinks Jaehyun has calmed enough to understand his words. “I didn’t send him up here, I would never do that to you I swear. All I want is for you to feel good, and safe, and I’ll regret nothing more than if I have compromised that in any way. Please believe me baby. I love you so much, I’m so sorry.”

Jaehyun sniffles against his throat and wraps his arms around Doyoung’s waist and it’s not much of an answer, but it’s enough for Doyoung.

“Thank you,” he whispers with his mouth pressed to the side of Jaehyun’s face and he feels so relieved he feels weightless, as if he might just float away if not for Jaehyun’s arms wrapped around him and Jaehyun’s legs slowly creeping over his own as his boy gets comfortable in his embrace.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that — all he’s aware of is how solid and warm Jaehyun feels in his arms — before his gentle humming is suddenly accompanied by Jaehyun’s soft baritone.

“Hey baby,” Doyoung hums and presses a kiss to Jaehyun’s forehead. Jaehyun clears his throat and swallows heavily before attempting to sit up in a way that doesn’t aggravate his sensitive body. 

“Who was that? That man? Why was he here?” Jaehyun mumbles, stumbling over his own tongue, but Doyoung gives him the time he needs. He is only ever patient with his lover. 

“That was Taeyong, you remember I told you about him? He wanted to use the bathroom and it completely slipped my mind that he prefers using the one up here. Baby, I’m so sorry.”

Jaehyun nods but he keeps his head down, staring at his fingers curling into Doyoung’s pant leg and he’s crying again, silently, but Doyoung can see the tears clinging to his chin before they fall and his heart breaks all over again. Somehow, these tears feel more real. Jaehyun isn’t crying because he’s overwhelmed with feelings both physically and mentally and can’t help himself. He is crying because he is embarrassed — perhaps even horrified — to have been walked in on in such a vulnerable position.

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun says, but it’s just words and Doyoung doesn’t believe them for a second. Cupping his hands around Jaehyun’s head, he rubs his ears with his fingers and presses their foreheads together. He continues humming after a moment when Jaehyun doesn’t say anything else. 

“I don’t blame you,” Jaehyun whispers a good while later, his eyes closed and fingers curled into Doyoung’s pant leg. “I know you didn’t let it happen intentionally.”

“I love you,” he says and finally lifts his head. His tears have dried, leaving his eyes red-rimmed and blank, but he smiles when their eyes meet.

“I love you too,” Doyoung whispers and strokes his thumbs over Jaehyun’s cheeks. “I love you so much.” He hesitates for only a second before taking Jaehyun’s mouth in a soft, close-mouthed kiss meant purely for comfort.

“Do you want me to draw you a bath?” he whispers against the corner of Jaehyun’s mouth, rubbing his boy’s red ear with his thumb and forefinger. Jaehyun sniffles — a tiny sound that paints a fond smile on Doyoung’s face — and hums an affirmative. 

“With the lavender bath bomb, please,” he mumbles and Doyoung presses a last kiss to his forehead before rising from the bed. He looks over his shoulder at Jaehyun as he walks to the bathroom and his heart clenches at the sight of his boy curling into the sheets and tipping over on his side. Smiling fondly, he slips through the open door and quickly turns the tap and drops a bath bomb into the water. He’s back at Jaehyun’s side in less than a minute; brushing a hand through his soft hair and coaxing him from the bed with whispered words. 

“Do you want me to light some candles as well? Maybe put on some music?” he asks when Jaehyun is finally on his feet, the thin bed sheet wrapped around his shoulders like a flimsy mantle. The black sheet draping over his back reminds Doyoung of a better time when Jaehyun had — in a state of minor inebriation — wrapped it around himself and danced around the room, reciting the dialogue from The Princess Bride word for word from _my name is Inigo Montoya_ to _please understand I hold you in the highest respect_. 

The sheer joy from that time is a cold contrast to the blank look in Jaehyun’s eyes now and Doyoung rages at himself in the solitude of his mind for having put it there. He should have been more aware. This should have never happened, but now he can only hope that Jaehyun doesn’t wake up the next morning trusting Doyoung a little less than he did before. 

Doyoung washes Jaehyun’s hair and hums softly to the song playing on the radio as his boy dozes in the warm water. There’s nothing unusual about it, but the whole scene feels integrally wrong. Jaehyun likes being taken care of — when Doyoung pays for his food and helps him get dressed in the morning for that last bit of intimacy before the day begins — but he never _needs_ it. Even with their relationship being what it is, Doyoung has never felt like he couldn’t lean on Jaehyun and expect his support in return, but now he feels so fragile under his fingertips and Doyoung worries he will unravel at the slightest disturbance. That’s not how Jaehyun is; that’s what Doyoung made him be and he hates every bit of it.

Jaehyun pushes his hands through the foam floating on the water and divides it into soapy mountains before squashing them. It’s a mindless action but Doyoung can tell by the way his brow softens and his eyes grow brighter that it’s helping. It’s the drop that did it, how roughly he was pulled out of subspace, a relatively new experience for him on its own. 

“Are you okay?” Doyoung whispers, his own hand is tense on the surface of the water and he wants to hold Jaehyun’s hand but he’s afraid of being rejected. So it’s no small relief when Jaehyun takes the initiative himself, his hand slippery and covered in suds when it slips into Doyoung’s palm.

“I’m okay,” he whispers, his eyes falling closed with a quiet sigh. “It’s just … someone _else_ seeing me like that it’s … it feels invasive, it feels like an assault even though it wasn’t even close, I … I only ever want _you_ to see me like that, the me that you have is for you alone but now that’s not the case anymore. No that’s not true either, I’m only ever yours but someone _saw_ -” Doyoung hates using this tactic but Jaehyun is talking himself into even more of a stressful state of mind, so when he kisses him with the sole intent to stifle his tongue, he feels only a little bit guilty. 

“ _Baby_ ,” he breathes against Jaehyun’s lips, “what you and I have, _no one_ can ever take that away from us. It’s _ours_ , just like you are mine and I am yours. But I understand why you feel this way, and you’re allowed to feel this way even if it was an accident.”

Doyoung brushes a last kiss over Jaehyun’s lips and pushes his nose into his cheek, whispering “close your eyes” before turning the water back on and lifting the shower head to wash the shampoo from Jaehyun’s hair. 

It’s a pastime they both enjoy; Jaehyun could very easily fall asleep under the gentle massage of Doyoung’s fingers in his hair, and Doyoung is convinced there is nothing more exquisite than Jaehyun’s soft, undamaged hair and sinking his fingers into it is the best feeling. 

“I know it was an accident,” Jaehyun whispers with his eyes closed as water runs down the sides of his face. “I heard you, all of it and anyway I never would’ve thought you did it on purpose. I never doubt you.” 

_I never doubt you_ ; the words ring in Doyoung’s mind. There are many ways Jaehyun could have said it — I never doubt your love or I never doubt you’ll take care of me — specific instances where doubt is never present in his mind. The implication of saying I never doubt you, _period_ , settles in Doyoung’s stomach like warm soup on a chilly day. It’s utmost trust, and he doesn’t doubt that Jaehyun means it. 

“I love you so much baby,” Doyoung says, brushing Jaehyun’s wet hair back to place a kiss on his forehead. He doesn’t know what else to say; it’s all just words and Jaehyun has heard them countless times before. But he smiles, dimples forming on his cheeks and eyes curving into crescent moons. There is no better sight, Doyoung thinks, than a smile on Jaehyun’s face. 

Later, once Jaehyun is dry and dressed in pyjamas and bundled up in bed, Doyoung goes searching for Taeyong. He finds him in the living room, loitering by the fireplace as if he isn’t sure if he should make a quick exit out the nearby front door or not. Doyoung calls his name and Taeyong hurries over, slipping his phone into his back pocket and wiping his palms on his stomach. 

“I’m so sorry!” He spews apologies as he crosses the room, but Doyoung waves them away. Taeyong did nothing wrong, this situation was brought about by his carelessness alone. He opens his mouth to say so but finds himself struck mum as the realisation hits him that Taeyong now knows of his sexual preferences. A decade of friendship and awkwardness finally catches up with them as they stand in his living room, not knowing what to say.

“Soooo,” Taeyong starts, always the braver of them. “I googled.” He pulls his phone out for a brief moment before pocketing it once again and Doyoung snorts. He doubts googling it has made Taeyong any wiser on the matter of his predilections.

“It’s a bdsm thing, isn’t it?” he asks and Doyoung feels his face flush for the first time in years. “Tying him up and leaving him there? That’s like a bondage dom/sub bdsm thing?”

It’s painfully obvious Taeyong has no idea what he’s talking about which, frankly, is a tad surprising to Doyoung. 

“Yeah, it is,” he says, deciding that any more explanation is unnecessary. “You seeing him was not my intention though. It was so far from anything I ever would have intended, it shouldn’t have happened, I’m sorry.” He falls heavily into his favourite armchair and Taeyong is there in an instant with a hand on his shoulder, his forehead pinched with worry. 

“Doyoung it was an accident, it wasn’t your fault either.” Taeyong says exactly what he needs because of course he knows what is on his mind. 

“Who is he then? A friend of yours? I only got a brief glance but he looked young. I also read something about clubs?” Taeyong moves to the chair opposite him while throwing questions one after another at him, but Doyoung doesn’t answer a single one. It’s clear Taeyong has read a little bit about a lot in the hour or so he was tending to Jaehyun, and he must have made a story for himself about their relationship. Of course it is as far from the truth as he can get because heaven forbid Doyoung have anything but a casual dalliance without his knowledge. 

“His name is Jaehyun,” he raises his voice to break through Taeyong’s disorganized stream of questions. “He’s younger yes, a university student. We met at the Food&Wine down the street … six months ago. We’ve been together ever since-” “SIX MONTHS?” He barely gets to squeeze the words out before Taeyong explodes from his chair, all but jumping to his feet. 

“You’ve been _seeing_ a man for six months and you’ve never told me?! WHY? Doyoung we tell each other _everything_ , why would you keep this from me?!” The hurt on Taeyong’s face and in his voice stabs him deep, but he can’t feel too guilty; it’s his own insecurities that are at fault.

“That we tell each other _everything_ isn’t strictly true.” He picks at the details to avoid digging into the real matter at hand and Taeyong glares at him until he resigns. 

“Fine! I wanted to tell you every day. But _that_ , what you saw, that’s our relationship. Okay, it’s not just a kink or something we’re trying out, it’s a very big part of it and … I didn’t know how to have you know about Jaehyun but not know about the other stuff.”

“But why could I _not_ know about the other stuff?” Taeyong asks before throwing his hands out. “It’s not like we don’t talk about sex. We actually do that quite a lot.”

“Because it’s different. Taeyong I don’t talk about that stuff with _anyone_ outside the community, because people don’t understand.”

Taeyong is quiet for a long while then, but it’s in the contemplative way where he furrows his brow and purses his mouth and Doyoung knows that whatever he’ll say next will go straight to the core of what he is feeling.

“Doyoung, did you think I wouldn't accept it?”

And there it is. 

“Doyoung, of course I do! I love and accept you exactly how you are, always have always will. You’re my best friend Doyoung, I love you more than anything in this world! Well except for my dog, I love her a little more than I love you.” A laugh bursts from Doyoung’s mouth and he feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

“I love her more than I love you too,” he laughs and feels a great load lift off his shoulders and disappear. Not telling Taeyong about this part of his life has never been something he’s fretted too much over, but it must have weighed on him more than he was aware. 

They sit in silence for some time after that — Taeyong now on the sofa next to him, close enough to hold his hand — and when Taeyong opens his mouth again to talk, it’s with a hopeful look in his eyes. “Can I meet him now then? I’ll understand if he doesn’t want to, but I really want to meet the guy who can keep your attention for as long as six months.”

He thinks of Jaehyun sobbing and squirming in distress and then he thinks of Jaehyun curling back into bed with a content little smile on his face a mere hour later and is fairly certain he’ll be all good by morning. Even so, he won’t make the decision for him.

“I want you to meet him, but it kind of has to be up to him right now. You can take the guest bedroom for now and then I’ll text you in the morning whether or not we can have breakfast together,” he says and Taeyong smiles, always so kind and understanding to everyone he meets.

“I should go to bed.” He rises with a groan and squeezes Taeyong’s hand once before letting go. “I want to be with him right now.”

Taeyong hums a goodnight but stops him before he can make a quick exit. “And Doyoung? Please tell him that I didn't really see anything. I didn’t see … him,” he says and gestures to everywhere below his own shoulders. A possessive voice in Doyoung’s head sings in relief knowing that Taeyong hadn’t really seen what is his, but he squashes it down in favor of the relief at being able to say as much to Jaehyun. 

Upstairs is completely quiet and Jaehyun is an unmoving shape under the heavy covers. Doyoung would think him asleep if not for the haphazardly flung pyjama pants and t-shirt leaving a trail from the bed in his direction. Jaehyun is naked and most certainly _not_ asleep. Certain he knows his boy well enough, Doyoung sheds his own clothing on the way to the bathroom, for once uncaring of the mess they make on the floor. He brushes his teeth and washes his face with no thoughts in his head except for Jaehyun in his bed, in _their_ bed, on the other side of the door. 

He’s naked when he climbs into bed and the satin sheets glide smoothly over his skin as he slips into the warm cocoon Jaehyun has made for himself underneath them. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun greets him with a whisper and a soft hand lands on his chest, fingers trailing over his skin.

“Hey baby,” he whispers back and shifts closer until their bodies touch. It’s warm and difficult to breathe completely submerged in the covers like this, but the intimacy of being cut off from even their closest surroundings sends tingles throughout Doyoung’s body. “Are you okay?”

Jaehyun hums and even if he can barely see him Doyoung knows he is smiling. Jaehyun’s soft fingertips splay over his chest and Doyoung covers them with his own, a breathy laugh escaping him as he feels his heart race under their hands. 

“Taeyong wants to meet you, will that be alright?” he whispers again as any louder sound would be intrusive. Jaehyun hums but doesn’t say anything. “He also wanted me to tell you that he didn’t see anything below your shoulders. He didn’t see this.” He runs his hand down the length of Jaehyun’s side, stopping at the curve of his ass. Jaehyun sighs shakily as if expelling that last bit of tension from his soul and curls closer into Doyoung’s chest. They can talk in the morning, right now there’s something else on both their minds and he isn’t surprised when Jaehyun’s other hand finds his waist and tugs, softly guiding him to lie on top of him. 

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun’s voice is but a breath of air in the small space between them, “make love to me.”

It’s only too easy to slip inside Jaehyun; to wrap his boy’s legs around his waist and sigh his pleasure into his mouth as Jaehyun’s walls flutter around him, sucking him in. He’s still so loose, and relaxed from his bath, and the small gasp he lets out when Doyoung settles deep inside him goes straight to his core. Jaehyun’s pleasure is his pleasure, that’s the utmost truth he lives by. 

“You feel so good baby,” Doyoung whispers, moving one hand to push Jaehyun’s hair out of his forehead before resting his own against it. He can see Jaehyun’s eyes from so close and can easily imagine his cheeks painted with red to match the desperately loving look he sees in those eyes. Jaehyun squeezes around him in the filthiest way and keens.

“Say you love me,” he gasps. “Doyoung, say you love me.”

Doyoung thrusts once — slow and steady to make Jaehyun cry for it — and then he pushes his face into Jaehyun’s neck and moans. “I love you so much Jaehyun. I love you more than I know how to handle, but I do my best to-” He hadn’t meant to cry; never intended to put it on Jaehyun how much the day’s events took a toll on him as well, but he can never help it when his emotions overwhelm him. And they so often do when he’s with Jaehyun.

Jaehyun wipes his tears even if he can’t see them, and lays kisses on his cheek while he combs fingers through his hair. “I know,” he whispers and Doyoung never imagined such simple words could be so profound. He thrusts again and Jaehyun’s sounds of pleasure are wet as if he’s crying too, and Doyoung thinks they’re a pretty pathetic pair but he also wouldn't have it any other way. 

With Jaehyun clenching down on him every time he touches deep inside him, and pulling him back to him with arms and legs every time he pulls out, Doyoung feels the coils of pleasure push him towards orgasm much quicker than it has in years. It’s a loss of control that on any other day — in any other moment — would make him retreat, but instead he dives into it headfirst and revels in the unrestrained euphoria Jaehyun gives him. 

Jaehyun comes first, like always — clenching and arching his back and moaning loudly into the quiet room as he covers them both in the evidence of his pleasure — but Doyoung isn’t far behind. He muffles his moans in Jaehyun’s shoulder and grips tighter onto Jaehyun’s hip as he buries himself in his heat one last time before filling him with his sperm. It’s been a long time since they’ve come simultaneously like this and he had forgotten how exhilarating it is to feel his lover’s pleasure mingling with his own in such a way. His body feels on fire — every nerve-ending fizzing from the intense orgasm — and he tries to pull out as soon as his head stops spinning but Jaehyun won’t let him.  
“No, stay,” he mumbles and wraps his legs tighter around Doyoung’s hips. Sleepy fingers slide aimlessly over Doyoung’s chest and he gathers them in his palm and brings them to his mouth, kissing every fingertip one after the other. 

“You’ll regret it in the morning,” he whispers, but still moves them carefully around so Jaehyun is resting on his chest and their bodies are still connected. 

“That’s for future me to worry about,” Jaehyun says, half asleep in the aftermath and Doyoung only holds him closer. There is, after all, no place he’d rather be than his lover’s warm embrace. 


End file.
